Seriously, if I'm going to be a service top to a stranger, you better compensate me, doesn't have to be money. You best offer something in exchange because otherwise I feel used and ripped off. Of course I'll play with friends, but if you are writing to me out of the blue, you're not a friend, you are a stranger who's trying to USE me to get his kinky rocks off. Please do tell me what on earth is dominant about being used?
Oh I can hear that I should do it out of enjoyment, guess what, I can find that enjoyment with somebody who I know and like, not some stranger from the internet. You know somebody who might not try and dictate what I should do to him.
Let me be blunt (I know, very unusual for me): You're getting off on getting an enema and having your ass reamed with a strapon. That's absolutely cool, I don't have a problem with it, but that doesn't mean that *I* want to take time out of my daily schedule, have a stranger coming to MY home, that I want to look at your chocolate starfish, listen to you expelling the enema in MY bathroom (possibly cleaning up the mess you left - ewww), get dressed up (and then disinfect my clothes, the play area and the bathroom after you're done) use MY strapon on you (chances are that you also expect me to buy the enema, the condoms, etc.) all for the pleasure of fucking you in the ass. Give me a freaking break!
Oh I know, you're going to offer me compensation, right, you're going to offer oral worship and to be my sex toy. Sorry buttercup, I translate for you what you are saying to how I am receiving it:
"I'm going to eat you out as a reward, because I like performing cunnilingus and guys like BJs so all women must have wet dreams of strangers licking their pussy!"
Wakey wakey, smell the coffee, the idea of a stranger's lips and tongue on my nether regions makes me a bit queasy, and not the good way.
So basically what you're saying is, that this should be an irresistible offer for me, you mean I look so bad that I couldn't just walk into a bar and pick up a guy who'd go down on me as part of the sex? Charming! Or you think I look so awful that even hubby won't go down on me (like I'd marry a guy who'd be afraid of eating pussy - do I really look so stupid?), so I have to take you up on your offer?
See how well your offer worked? As an afterthought, I also know where my pussy has been, I have no idea where your tongue has been. (I think I just grossed myself out)
Btw, would you walk up to a girl in a vanilla environment and make her that offer or would you be worried to end up with a massive shiner and a few teeth missing? See where I am going with this? Exactly, if you wouldn't behave like a complete oaf and an Neanderthal in a vanilla environment or a vanilla site, then why on earth do you think you need to leave all manners and social graces with your coat, just because this happens to be a kinky site? Only a complete idiot would think so and I let you into another secret: Women usually aren't attracted to complete idiots!
Here it goes:
Guys, you might have a little bit more success if you wouldn't treat women as fetish delivery systems, nothing wrong with wanting a bit of kink or wanting it on tab whenever you want it, there are professional dommes who will give you exactly that, that's why they are "professionals" and they get compensated for their time and expertise. Please don't give me the BS that it's not the same, of course it isn't, but it's also not the same for a woman to get approached by a random guy expecting to get his kinky urges scratched because he wants to.
I get the hump a bit when horny net geeks think it's acceptable to more or less demand it because they like your pic (nope, I don't feel honored or flattered) but then complain if you suggest they see a professional, especially if they go on that they are just "prostitutes" - well actually, they are not.
All it means is that those jerks don't have any respect for women, and that's an instant turn off!
As a public service announcement guys:
- If you write to a woman for the first time, don't mention kink and try to write with both hands on the keyboard to a person not to a fetish delivery system
- Keep your pants on, you might think your dick is spectacular, we've possibly seen a lot more than you will ever do and unless we're really into you, it's just not that special or anything we want to see first! And really, present yourself from your best side, if a dick is all you got to show, chances are that we think you are a dick.
- There are a lot more guys than girls looking, so your chances are a lot worse from the word "go" - do you really need to fuck up for yourself with obnoxious emails?