... this whole thing with me disappearing for long stretches of time, but I have been insanely busy, this whole thing about jumping from country to country is a pain in the neck even in Europe, now if you add California to the mix and trying to adjust to an 8 hour time difference (doing well though, 1st morning I was up at 4 am local time after 4 hours of sleep as my body was convinced it's morning, 2nd day I wake up at 7 am and only mildly dizzy).
For the comedy value of it, I could pretend to grovel for forgiveness, but to be honest, when parents and friends are going through health crisises and work beckons, blogging somehow just gets a bit less important.
Anyway, loading up with coffee while looking at the pool, spare some pity for me, because I am looking quite forward to my morning swim, ahhh how I missed that...
Friday, 12 April 2013
Tuesday, 29 January 2013
Sorry
I'm really sorry for the long radio silence but I've been insanely busy with life, the pets, work, paper work and all that...
Unfortunately this post isn't a very happy one (though a lot of good things have happened in the last few days), I learned that Maya Sinstress had a pretty traumatic attack, been ripped to shreds and has no insurance. It's pretty gut wretching and while I don't know her, the people who do speak highly of her, so I think that does count for something.
Check it out yourself and if you can and want to, please help!
http://www.gofundme.com/Sinstress
Thanks
Unfortunately this post isn't a very happy one (though a lot of good things have happened in the last few days), I learned that Maya Sinstress had a pretty traumatic attack, been ripped to shreds and has no insurance. It's pretty gut wretching and while I don't know her, the people who do speak highly of her, so I think that does count for something.
Check it out yourself and if you can and want to, please help!
http://www.gofundme.com/Sinstress
Thanks
Wednesday, 19 December 2012
Tired...
Had a week and then some, really really busy and just watched an old Stones documentary on the BBC, laughed my ass off when old Keiff said "I never had a problem with the drugs, I only had a problem with the cops"
Anyway, they played a few bars of Salt of the Earth, I do love that song and I'm going to inflict it on you guys...
Heck, one can't help but really like Keiff, never liked Jagger and his strutting around all that much (great voice though)
Anyway, if you are looking for a good read for the holidays and you haven't read it yet, get yourself Life, his autobiography, got it some years back when it came out (2 or 3 years ago I think, around my stalker being active) and it's a fantastic read and really entertaining!
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Life-Keith-Richards/dp/0753826615
I'd really be hard pressed to decide if Keiffer or Pete Townshend's my fave guitarist, of course there are a ton of other great guitarists, Slash, Nigel Pulsford and a few others come to mind. Of course there is also Jimmy Page, but I can't forget the damned re-union gig, those endless freaking solos just annoyed the hell out of me. Well, at least I knew a few Led Zep songs (though they would benefit from less guitar wanking, we know you can play, get on with the fucking song, please) unlike Aunty...
Anyway, they played a few bars of Salt of the Earth, I do love that song and I'm going to inflict it on you guys...
Heck, one can't help but really like Keiff, never liked Jagger and his strutting around all that much (great voice though)
Anyway, if you are looking for a good read for the holidays and you haven't read it yet, get yourself Life, his autobiography, got it some years back when it came out (2 or 3 years ago I think, around my stalker being active) and it's a fantastic read and really entertaining!
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Life-Keith-Richards/dp/0753826615
I'd really be hard pressed to decide if Keiffer or Pete Townshend's my fave guitarist, of course there are a ton of other great guitarists, Slash, Nigel Pulsford and a few others come to mind. Of course there is also Jimmy Page, but I can't forget the damned re-union gig, those endless freaking solos just annoyed the hell out of me. Well, at least I knew a few Led Zep songs (though they would benefit from less guitar wanking, we know you can play, get on with the fucking song, please) unlike Aunty...
Tuesday, 18 December 2012
Force me...
It's one of my old pet peeves, really, this whole forced thing, if you desire something and especially in professional BDSM, there isn't anything really "forced" and that's great because otherwise it would simply be abuse. It's a popular theme in BDSM porn, but in BDSM porn the women are also often men hating freaks, which is quite different to somebody who has a loving relationship with a submissive!
You're requesting something and your fantasy is being forced to do it, it doesn't mean it's really forced!
I can understand that a submissive will want to do something for his or her dominant that they don't enjoy but they know the dominant enjoys, that's a different issue because it's not forced, it comes from the desire to serve.
There are so many myths surrounding BDSM and one of the biggest is that BDSM is all about hurting people and forcing them to do things they don't want to do...
Well, if that would be true, then why on earth would clients actually PAY for it? Why would everybody stress consensual so much? Why would there be safewords?
There is a huge difference between BDSM and abuse!
Playfully forcing somebody - in a consensual non-consensual way - is a lot of fun, I guess it's something we've all experienced, somebody screaming NO NO NO but meaning YES YES YES, hey fun, we all got the safe word in case it's not fun anymore and so the dominant partner knows when to stop without breaking the illusion of force, yes, it's a fantasy game that is really really hot!
One thing that irks me without end is the molly coddling of subs and telling them that oh it's OK and that they were really forced. What's that about? Are there some dominant women who are really so freaking insecure that they need to suck up to every guys fantasy just for a bit of approval?
A lot of the blogs strike me as people who only dream about BDSM and are terrified to offend somebody, yet trying to stylize themselves as some sort of online BDSM authorities without ever having had a BDSM relationship. I just don't really get the reason behind it, if you want to have a relationship, get out, meet people and check out if you have the right chemistry.
There is no right and wrong way to do BDSM (apart from safety aspects, but that's pretty much common sense), if the people involved are happy, that's it, what anybody else thinks about your relationship or if you are doing it right or wrong shouldn't matter. Heaven knows that my relationship would be far too vanilla for most people and it really doesn't bug me one bit, we're both quite happy with the way it goes, so some internet stranger thinking we're not doing it right - yeah, that's going to phase me about as much as the proverbial bike in China.
A lot of the information on the internet and in BDSM porn is really confusing, there is a lot of day dreaming and there are tons of fantasy stories about what BDSM is. Of course it's more exciting if you make it out it's some dark and scary place, it will add to the mood, but in a relationship it can't come from a dark and forbidden place because the essential thing that you need is trust.
In BDSM porn the bitchy, man-hating domme is a thing that keeps reoccurring, but that's a fantasy, a BDSM relationship can only work if there is a feeling of mutual trust.
One thing that really gets me about some so called "Femdom" blogs is that they seem so desperate, basically anything the sub wants is OK, and he has to be applauded and coddled and told how much it is his right, how wonderful that he opens up and demands those things... I often think "Woman, get a foster child if you don't have one of your own".
This whole turning the submissive into some spoiled little brat and essentially bending over backwards to try and keep the illusion that he found a dominant woman (who is going to serve him and reinforce his expectations) is about as ridiculous as the whole femdom porn fantasy of the always leather/latex clad domme who hates men and will force them. It tends to reek of desperation, heck I like men, submissive or kinky, I like them as MEN, not children who need guidance. In short I want a willing partner in crime, not somebody I have to cajole and convince, stroke his ego all the time and basically serve him while desperately pretending I am his dominant.
Unless you are having a strictly professional relationship and not a relationship with some BDSM elements, the fantasy warrior idea won't fly. Essentially you have a partner and HOW the power exchange takes place and WHEN is up to you. The dominant doesn't automatically turn into a parent substitute, of course there is always age play but that is only one spectrum of BDSM.
Let me repeat, BDSM is all about consent, that means that you can withdraw your consent at any time in case it makes you feel uncomfy or you feel you're pushed to far, dominants don't tend to be interested in turning you into mindless drones, most BDSM relationships are actually very LOVING relationships, just with a bit of kink thrown in, often with power exchange in various ways, sometimes with a bit of pain, but there is no law that says pain is essential to a BDSM relationship, a lot of people have relationships of every kind, also BDSM relationships without pain!
You're requesting something and your fantasy is being forced to do it, it doesn't mean it's really forced!
I can understand that a submissive will want to do something for his or her dominant that they don't enjoy but they know the dominant enjoys, that's a different issue because it's not forced, it comes from the desire to serve.
There are so many myths surrounding BDSM and one of the biggest is that BDSM is all about hurting people and forcing them to do things they don't want to do...
Well, if that would be true, then why on earth would clients actually PAY for it? Why would everybody stress consensual so much? Why would there be safewords?
There is a huge difference between BDSM and abuse!
Playfully forcing somebody - in a consensual non-consensual way - is a lot of fun, I guess it's something we've all experienced, somebody screaming NO NO NO but meaning YES YES YES, hey fun, we all got the safe word in case it's not fun anymore and so the dominant partner knows when to stop without breaking the illusion of force, yes, it's a fantasy game that is really really hot!
One thing that irks me without end is the molly coddling of subs and telling them that oh it's OK and that they were really forced. What's that about? Are there some dominant women who are really so freaking insecure that they need to suck up to every guys fantasy just for a bit of approval?
A lot of the blogs strike me as people who only dream about BDSM and are terrified to offend somebody, yet trying to stylize themselves as some sort of online BDSM authorities without ever having had a BDSM relationship. I just don't really get the reason behind it, if you want to have a relationship, get out, meet people and check out if you have the right chemistry.
There is no right and wrong way to do BDSM (apart from safety aspects, but that's pretty much common sense), if the people involved are happy, that's it, what anybody else thinks about your relationship or if you are doing it right or wrong shouldn't matter. Heaven knows that my relationship would be far too vanilla for most people and it really doesn't bug me one bit, we're both quite happy with the way it goes, so some internet stranger thinking we're not doing it right - yeah, that's going to phase me about as much as the proverbial bike in China.
A lot of the information on the internet and in BDSM porn is really confusing, there is a lot of day dreaming and there are tons of fantasy stories about what BDSM is. Of course it's more exciting if you make it out it's some dark and scary place, it will add to the mood, but in a relationship it can't come from a dark and forbidden place because the essential thing that you need is trust.
In BDSM porn the bitchy, man-hating domme is a thing that keeps reoccurring, but that's a fantasy, a BDSM relationship can only work if there is a feeling of mutual trust.
One thing that really gets me about some so called "Femdom" blogs is that they seem so desperate, basically anything the sub wants is OK, and he has to be applauded and coddled and told how much it is his right, how wonderful that he opens up and demands those things... I often think "Woman, get a foster child if you don't have one of your own".
This whole turning the submissive into some spoiled little brat and essentially bending over backwards to try and keep the illusion that he found a dominant woman (who is going to serve him and reinforce his expectations) is about as ridiculous as the whole femdom porn fantasy of the always leather/latex clad domme who hates men and will force them. It tends to reek of desperation, heck I like men, submissive or kinky, I like them as MEN, not children who need guidance. In short I want a willing partner in crime, not somebody I have to cajole and convince, stroke his ego all the time and basically serve him while desperately pretending I am his dominant.
Unless you are having a strictly professional relationship and not a relationship with some BDSM elements, the fantasy warrior idea won't fly. Essentially you have a partner and HOW the power exchange takes place and WHEN is up to you. The dominant doesn't automatically turn into a parent substitute, of course there is always age play but that is only one spectrum of BDSM.
Let me repeat, BDSM is all about consent, that means that you can withdraw your consent at any time in case it makes you feel uncomfy or you feel you're pushed to far, dominants don't tend to be interested in turning you into mindless drones, most BDSM relationships are actually very LOVING relationships, just with a bit of kink thrown in, often with power exchange in various ways, sometimes with a bit of pain, but there is no law that says pain is essential to a BDSM relationship, a lot of people have relationships of every kind, also BDSM relationships without pain!
Monday, 17 December 2012
To sex things up...
Just by chance I ran across a little youtube video, nothing dramatic, but while I was in Austria I used the chance to visit the Wolford factory (yes, spent far too much money there...) and for all the guys who complain that their wife is not interested in sex anymore, when was the last time you gave her a reason to feel sexy?
Sunday, 16 December 2012
Home sweet home
Back home and lots of peppermint tea. Somebody slap me silly in case I eat shellfish in a less than stellar restaurant ever again...
Friday, 14 December 2012
Got to love food poisoning...
I'm in one of the nicest areas of Austria, it's wonderful, snow, Christmas markets everywhere with the smell of delicious food and hot mulled wine but since I still haven't got rid of my food poisoning, I'm on bland rice and peppermint tea...
Torture, delicious smells everywhere and I can look forward to my bowl of rice, I guess I will need to take my frustration out on somebody once I am back...
Torture, delicious smells everywhere and I can look forward to my bowl of rice, I guess I will need to take my frustration out on somebody once I am back...
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